Ian Scott Rudolph (Captain Sweatpants)
Not a ton of information is known about Captain Sweatpants. For instance, the crew doesn’t know his real name, and we’re pretty darned sure that he wasn’t born a captain, nor is his surname “Sweatpants.” He’s showed up on screen in the background in a total of six seasons, so he must have some level of significance to the show, right?
Not really. We know that he’s a dear friend of Stuart and that he only has one line throughout the series’ run: “Free popcorn.” We also learn he has a son, referred to as Captain Sweatpants’ son, and just like his dad, he’s missing some hair on his dome.