Getting a full-body tan
Imagine how surprised you’d be if you were walking down the block, the sun shining without a cloud in the sky. But as soon as you make that left turn, you notice something: a hairy gluteus maximus attached to some dude lying face-down on his front lawn. That’s what this poor mailman was exposed to.
He goes on to explain in his story that this man didn’t notice him “for a while.” He didn’t explain what he did after noticing him, but we’re trying not to think about it. We imagine this mailman had to wash his eyes multiple times to erase the iamges from his mind. Now, we just might have to do the same.