You Become a Detective
As soon as you give birth, a doctor will present you with a detective’s badge. It might confuse you at first, but you’ll soon come to realize that half of parenthood is about trying to solve mysteries. This mother totally gets it. Every morning, she wakes up in a daze, trying to figure out what happened the previous night based on the mess she woke up to.
Is your kid sleeping on the couch? Obviously, you didn’t carry them up to their cradle. Why is there strawberry jam on the TV? Oh, because the blueberry jam was in the cupboard. Why is it so cold? Because one of your kids blasted a hole in the living room wall. Mysteries solved.