Shut Up and Take My Money
If you don’t own a swimming pool, swimming pools are the awesomest things to happen to mankind since transforming wristwatches. If you do own a pool, sucks to be you. Do you know how hard it is to maintain a swimming pool during the swim season? Of course, you don’t—you don’t own a backyard swimming pool, and let’s hope you keep it that way.

Anyway, the only way you can make swimming even more enjoyable is by getting yourself one of these bad boys. These inflatable tank pool floats actually have a working water cannon, so you can blast your foe while using the foot pedals to get out of harm’s way.