All vans are creepy
Whenever someone opens a sentence with “no offense,” you know they’re going to say something offensive. It’s a rule of thumb. Another rule of thumb is that large, white vans are always creepy. Maybe we’ve watched one too many horror films and thrillers, and we’re too affected by Hollywood, but we can see why this person is uncomfortable with having this car parked in front of his house.
Besides, he admitted that he’s easily creeped, so we can’t blame him. We know there’s probably nothing to worry about, and he’s just being silly, but some fears (or most fears, actually) are irrational. If he went ad far as writing this note, it probably means a lot to him. I wonder if the owner of the car took offense, or whether he found this note as amusing as we did.