No soccer for you!
Look! A soccer field! You know what this means?! No, silly, we don’t play soccer on soccer fields! We get our dirt bikes and ATVs to tear up the grass and ruin the field for everyone! Why would you think that a flat, grassy surface with goalposts on either end would be a good place to play soccer?

This has got to be one of the worst things we’ve seen. It might not look like much since, well, grass regrows over time. However, when the mud dries, it becomes as sharp as rocks. It can dig into the shins, knees, and thighs of people trying to enjoy a soccer game. Go back to the swamp where you belong, jerks.