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There are incredibly rare instances where one of your kids will offer to make breakfast. Assuming they can work a stove without burning your entire house down, you should let them. It’ll give you a few moments to relax before they ask for help in the kitchen, and they will ask for help. You might as well have done everything by yourself.

When it comes time to feed the other children, they spit the food out and ask for cereal instead. Take a close look at the first kid’s face. You’ll see an expression of disappointment and a dam holding back tears that’s ready to break. Now, you can throw your head back and laugh uproariously. How does it feel feeding a bunch of ingrates?!